Yuffie Never Should Find Things Really Rewrite
by Favorite of Chaos
Summary: Yuffie found something and Reno gets the short end of the stick. Rewrite.
1. Chapter 1

Yuffie Never Should Find Things Really Rewrite.

I do not own Final Fantasy VII that is owned by SquareEnix.

Beta'd by: Hiya120

Summery: Yuffie found something and Reno gets the short end of the stick. Rewrite.

Chapter 1

Yuffie looked around her and saw a glowing ball of Materia. She grabbed it and smirked.

'_This will be fun.'_ She thought to herself when she put it in her Bangle.

Two weeks later…

'_Man Big-boss, why do ya want books from Hojo? I know the reason of some of them but why?' _Reno thought to himself as he walked out of the old Shin-ra mansion in Nibelheim.

Reno walked thru the empty town since the Meteor incident the town is no longer there to protect the missing general and Hojo's twisted experiments on Cloud and Zack. And the fact that Vincent wants to buy the land and do something to it.

He made it to the Helicopter that he parked near the town and started to put the books inside so he can say that he got them.

"Why do you have those books?" a cold voice said behind Reno with a gun cocking.

"Rufus wants to compensate Cloud Strife. For that he needs to know what Hojo did to pay for the pain and suffering he had and to see if Cloud would go insane like a certain silver haired guy that burned down this town." Reno replied to the gunman hearing a click of the safety going into place.

"That better be the right answer. If it is not true I will hunt your boss down." That cold voice told Reno that this is Vincent.

"Vincent, look Big-boss wants to change the image of Shin-ra. The new company is just for pharmaceuticals to help people with better potions and medicine. Just let me tell them I have the box." Reno said going into the chopper to grab the radio.

"Fine. Just don't tell him that I detained you." Vincent said calmly.

"Hey boss-man I finished getting the package. Just putting it in my girl. I'll see you when I get back." Reno radioed to Healin.

"Finally someone to test this brand-new Materia on. Lucky for the white rose of Wutai." A loud girl's voice said cheerfully.

Reno blanched he has heard that before and he lost all of his hair and got kick out of Seventh Heaven for good the last time Yuffie said that.

"Yuffie, I'm not a test rat! Don't use it on me!" Reno yelped out in fear.

He tried to start up the copter so he can escape without getting hit by the crazy princess.

"Yuffie, you need to stop targeting Reno with every Materia that you find." Vincent said to try to placate the princess.

"But Vinnie he works for the company that attacked Wutai. So this is revenge." Yuffie said activating the Materia.

Reno just got the engine started and he was just starting the pre flight checks when Yuffie used the Materia on him. Reno felt pain all over and he looked down and screamed.

A/n: I have thought to rewrite this because of the first was bad and now it looks a lot better and I now know that I cannot keep anything in first person. please review.


	2. Chapter 2

Yuffie Never Should Find Things Really Rewrite.

I do not own Final Fantasy VII that is owned by SquareEnix.

Beta'd by: Hiya120

Chapter 2

Reno's scream broke Yuffie's happiness and she looked at what she had done to the poor man.

"What did you do?! That hurt bad! Reverse it!" Reno yelled out, his voice was higher and not as deep.

"Reno, you're a girl. Let me check out the Materia." Yuffie said with worry.

"I can't be a girl! NO! Damn it Yuffie." Reno said slumping forward.

"It is only level one; I guess this is what it does. Well I will level it up but right now you have to stay a girl until I come back." Yuffie said smiling.

"Well then I cannot go back to Healin like this." Reno said eyes wide.

"Yuffie get Reno some clothes that would fit his new look. Reno, come out of the helicopter for us to measure you for the new clothes." Vincent said trying to defuse the situation even though inside he is laughing his head off.

Reno came out and Yuffie's eyes grew jealous over Reno's curves, but she said nothing. Reno turned a little so that Yuffie can at least get clothing that is close to his size.

"Okay, Reno, what is your shoe size?" Yuffie asked glaring at Reno.

"Um, nine why?" Reno asked confused.

"Women don't wear men's dress shoes when not in Turk uniform." Vincent said with a small peal of laughter coming out.

"Oh, shit I have to go to the bathroom. I'm going to town to find a toilet." Reno said going back to the thankfully empty town.

Reno came back and Yuffie was gone, Vincent stayed to watch for monsters and to make sure Reno didn't do something stupid.

"Why are you staring at me?" Reno asked getting pissed off that no one told him that girls pee sitting down.

"Your chest is larger than I thought it was. And the oversized clothing make you look like your hiding your stomach." Vincent said without laughing like Reno thought he was.

"Well, la-de-da. I don't care. I'm a guy, I will go back to normal and we all forget this." Reno said though clenched teeth.

"You are a girl right now and you will be back to normal. It is just that the Turks will be coming here after all you did call them and said that you were coming with the books." Vincent said making Reno's eyes widen.

"Oh shit. If they see me, I'm screwed. I gotta find a place, ta hide." Reno said with worry and fear.

"Reno, for that you will have to act like a woman for a bit until Yuffie has the cure." Vincent said to calm down the hyperventilating Turk.

"But what if it is permeant or I don't go all the way back to normal?" Reno asked nearly screaming.

"Reno, calm down, if that happens I will call you and tell you. I have a spare PHS since the Turks can track you with the one you have." Vincent said holding the fearful Reno close to his body.

"Vinnie?! What are you doing?!" Yuffie cried out dropping a bag.

"Calming, him down. He is hyperventilating, if he calms down he won't pass out." Vincent said to Yuffie in his calm manner. Reno slumped and went fully lax. "Damn, he's out cold." Vincent then picks Reno up and starts for Nibelheim.

"Vinnie, wait. Why here, why help him? He still is the same one that Barret rants about." Yuffie said trying to catch up to the one she wants for a husband.

"You should have seen him earlier, he was freaking out about being found like this. And if you don't help him, you will be just like Shin-ra when they took over your country." Vincent said coldly, he believes this.

A/n how do you all like it?


	3. Chapter 3

Yuffie Never Should Find Things Really Rewrite.

I do not own Final Fantasy VII that is owned by SquareEnix.

Beta'd by: Hiya120

Chapter 3

Reno woke up on a bed that was not his and he groaned getting up then remembering that Vincent was calming him down. So what happened was that a dream? Then a niggling feeling that he really needs to use the toilet.

When he walked to the bathroom he saw bags but paid them no mind, he went to use the toilet like he usually does and freaked out that his so called dream is indeed real. After he finally got out of the bathroom he went to the bags to check if Yuffie got good clothes or skimpy which he didn't want.

He found that some of them was skimpy but he picked out a set that wasn't to skimpy. It was a simple long skirt and with matching blouse that Reno changed into but since there was no under clothes Reno had to make do without, and a C cup hurts a little without a bra on.

When Reno left the house that he was in and with the bags in one hand to look for the one that got him into this mess and the one that was helping him while laughing. He found them at the town square talking.

"So how am I gonna get ta somewhere that I can be safe from things." Reno said as he walked over to the talking duo.

"Well, Cid is still in Rocket Town he could take you to Edge to stay in since the place is growing and since most of the town is getting so full no one should recognize you, but you need a females name to go by so that it helps you out." Vincent said thinking.

"And I'm going to level up this materia to get that cure." Yuffie said mad that it graced Reno with better curves than she.

"Ok, just call me Diane, that's my mother's name and she had the mean streak to make it my middle name. Just don't spread that around please." Reno/Diane said smoothing out the blouse.

"Fine but when you are back to normal can I pick on you then?" Yuffie asked Reno with an evil grin.

"Fine, just don't tell anyone how you found out not even the bosses know of my middle name." Diane said with a sigh.

A/n Sorry it took so long. so how is it? i know that it is short.


	4. Chapter 4

Yuffie Never Should Find Things Really Rewrite.

I do not own Final Fantasy VII that is owned by SquareEnix.

Beta'd by: Hiya120

Chapter 4

"Do you know the way to Rocket Town on foot?" Vincent asked knowing that if Re-Diane would probably get hurt and it would put sins on both of them.

"No, but I thought you would tell me anyway." Diane said trying to figure out how to protect himself… darn it herself.

"Go the way to the reactor in the Nibelheim Mountain Range then look for a cave near the reactor. Go into the cave and follow it to the end and you will be out of the range. Then go north and you will be at Rocket Town." Vincent said without fail.

"Um, can ya make some maps please? That route sounds like I can get lost." Diane asked the duo.

"Yes, that should take about twenty minutes." Vincent said going back to town.

When Diane heard that she went to the chopper and pulled out a sheath that will hold a sword and went back to the house that she woke up in.

She found where she placed her more jury-rigged sheath and harness. She put on the plain and none jury-rigged harness and sheath, put the sword in the sheath and went back to the chopper to hide the jury-rigged harness.

Then she went to the clothes that Yuffie had bought for her, started putting them into a travel bag that Yuffie had also bought for this purpose and then she went to the center of town to wait.

"That was longer than twenty minutes. I have about two hours left before the others start getting antsy on why I haven't gotten back." Diane said guessing on how long he was out.

"So you do have a weapon, the caves is infested with monsters. Be careful." Vincent said before looking at Yuffie. "Yuffie will battle to level up the materia. I will be there to make sure she does this, and I will contact you if it can or cannot cure you." After he said that he was gone along with the trouble causing ninja princess.

Diane walked towards the reactor and soon found that it was getting late, so when she got to the reactor it was completely dark and she went inside the creepy place for the night. She didn't sleep very well that night.

In the morning she got out of the reactor and found the cave that Vincent had said that was there. Went in and brought out the map that Vincent had drawn up, took a week to get through the monsters and the cave. After looking around she saw the pylons that once held the rocket that named this town.

She went to that direction since the town is at the sight of the pylons. It took another week to get to Rocket Town.

'So tired,' Diane thought as she entered the town. 'Got to find either the inn or Highwind's home.'

Diane found the inn and paid for a room. When Diane went into the room that she paid for and took a shower after she locked the door, then after the shower and just laid down on the bed for the night.

When Diane woke up in the morning, she double checks herself in case it was all just a dream and it always wasn't.

"Why couldn't that have been a stupid nightmare?" Diane asked herself when she thought about how she would be if she hadn't been attacked by Yuffie.

Healin Lodge, before Reno/Diane left the helicopter…

"Reno called saying that he got the goods. He should be back within an hour, sir." Tseng said folding a PHS, a cellphone like device.

"Good, tell Reno when he gets here that he has a week off." Rufus Shinra said slowly walking to his temporary office, his back is still healing from the fall when the old Shinra tower was destroyed.

"Yes, sir. Do you want your medication or wait until Reno is back?" Tseng asked noticing his boss's stiffness.

"Now, if you don't mind." Rufus said a little sourly

Tseng got the meds and they waited for the noise from the copter but they never heard anything.

"This is strange, Reno should have been here a while ago. Did he have to land for fuel?" Rufus asked his oldest friend/employee.

"Reno would have called. Maybe Strife saw him putting the goods into copter and came to the wrong conclusion and attacked him." Tseng said narrowing his eyes in concentration.

"Red could then be hurt?" Rude asked making sense of the situation.

"Good riddance of that pest." Elena said without any consideration.

"Elena, Reno is the Second of Command of the Turks, for that you lose a weeks pay. We need to figure out who was near before any issue of blame can be made." Rufus said sternly at Elena, then calmly to make sure they didn't go blaming the wrong person.

"Reno has had problems with Kisaragi, and Valentine lives in the area. Strife could have been passing by, or another factor could have done something to Reno." Tseng said, saying all the possibilities in hope that one might be correct.

"Fine we go within the hour." Rufus ordered, hoping that Reno was already on his way or simply delayed.

When they got to the chopper that Reno used and no one was near it they knew that Reno had been in trouble.

"Do you think the package is here?" Tseng asked Rufus worried that was the cause of Reno's disappearance.

"Let's find out, Rude you know Reno would place the box." Rufus said eyebrows narrowing.

"Will do boss." Rude said going to the luggage area of the copter. After moving Reno's netting a box that normally is not in the helicopter was pulled out. "Could this be it?"

"Here let me check." Tseng said going over and opening the box, after looking at a couple of the books he turns to Rufus, "Reno got them inside so his disappearance happened after putting the box on but before he could take off."

"Damn, at least we can pay those families and Strife for the attack of Hojo. Keep an eye out for Reno, and if he is found give him an earful for not contacting us." Rufus said mostly to Tseng.

Back to Reno I mean Diane…

Diane saw that a few airships were moored so she hoped that Cid Highwind was in the town.

So she went to where the ships were and went to talk to the owner, who was not there but at his garage fixing a small biplane. So she asked where the garage was so that she could get to Edge.

"Um, hello? Mister Highwind?" Diane called out knowing if Cid heard that he will come out hating that version, liking captain or chief.

"Who's there, must be a new person. They townsfolk knows ta call me captain or chief." Cid's gruff voice said as he walked out covered in oil.

"Um, mister oil monster, do you know where Mister Highwind is?" Diane asked with er, huge eyes, inside Reno is laughing very hard.

"I am Highwind, just call me captain or chief." Cid said going to grab a rag to clean off some of the oil off of him.

"Okay Mister Chief, I heard that you could take me to Edge. Could you please?" Diane said unknowingly doing puppy-dog eyes on him.

"Er, yeah I can. Why do ya want ta go ta Edge?" Cid asked trying to battle the puppy eyes.

"I want to help out there since mama and papa said to leave." Diane said looking at the floor acting upset.

"Uh…uh… okay, and go ta Seventh Heaven. The owner helps kids out like you." Cid said trying to calm down the upset woman. "Jus' let me get clean and then we go ta Edge.

A/n: i know very late, if you saw my profile you should know that during the past year my mother has been getting worse and on Oct 1, 2010 passed away. this chapter and any that come out during the rest of the year is dedicated to my mom.


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